Photo Credit: © 2006 Lynne Holder

Sunday, February 20, 2011

In the Beginning

We all begin our journey in this life the same way--we're born into it as spiritual beings housed in physical bodies. I must say that I am at a loss to understand how this arrangement is even possible. How can my spirit tolerate the confines of this physical body? How can lightness and freedom become heaviness and limitation? Yet, this is how the human race exists, on this beautiful, small orb we call planet Earth, perfectly situated for our survival in a universe whose vastness is beyond our comprehension.

Our God is awesome to have made all this, and me. He knew me before there was any of me; my body, personality, and the entire course of my life, down to the minute of my last breath and return to the lightness of spiritual being. He MADE me.

I was born for a purpose and with dreams God planted in me. Unfortunately, as happens very often, children as God intended and created them to be do not always meet their parents' expectations. Such was my case.

Going as far back as my memories can take me, I remember being very confident, happy, and more than a little boisterous. I liked being the center of attention. My parents had other plans for me, however, and the re-molding of Lynne began.

"Be quiet! You're so loud! Now go sit down and be still." And my all-time favorite, "You're too sensitive!"

I learned early on that little girls were quiet, polite, and did little girl things. They tried to get me to play with my sisters and their *choke* dolls. I wanted nothing to do with it, but at my mother's insistence and to please the sisters, I gave in to some girlie play time with dolls. My duty completed and vowing never to do that again, I promptly left the house and climbed the weeping willow tree in the back yard so no one would find me, and so I could daydream about my favorite thing--horses.

I don't know why God gives certain people certain talents, abilities, or dreams and aspirations, but I do know that for some reason, horses are in my DNA. The thought of one day being able to ride was about all I remember spending mental energy on as I passed my early childhood days. I played with model horses, climbed that tree in the back yard where no one would find me, and imagined what it would be like to ride these wonderful animals. As the breeze blew through the leaves and my dark hair, I could absolutely imagine feeling the wind blow my hair back as I cantered along on my horse through a field of tall grass. And I prayed, "God, please give me a horse".

My parents knew these horse crazy dreams of mine could not be squashed as easily as the rest of me was. I could change to get along, but I would not give up this part of me. I begged and begged to learn to ride, until they were worn down. To their credit, they did listen and they did embrace this part of who I was created to be.

When I was nearly 11 years old my family moved into a custom-built house on a few acres in the beautiful, hilly countryside of upstate New York, that included a barn near the house.

A few weeks later, on the way home from an errand with my mother, as we turned onto our road I noticed that we were following a horse trailer. That was MY horse. I remember grasping the dashboard of the car, scooting to the edge of my seat, and gasping in shock and excitement. I will never forget that day as long as I live.

I welcomed my dreams into my reality with open arms and a heart full of passion. That horse was joined by another horse. One horse left, then years later, another (I learned the parents giveth and the parents taketh away without discussion). I moved to NC, went to school, got married, had 4 children, and the years flew by. Twenty-some years after I had to say goodbye to my childhood horse friend, it was time to listen to my soul and make horses a part of my life again. I did, without hesitation or doubt.

Horses have taught me many spiritual lessons, including trust, and have seen me through some gut wrenching, tough times. Time spent with my horses and riding through God's beautiful creation kept me centered and in touch with my Source of strength. I'm not sure I would have made it through my dark times without my equine companions.

This early childhood dream and its realization has been key in helping bolster my faith throughout my life. Whenever I think of praying in faith, this childhood experience is "with God, all things are possible" in the flesh.

I learned something important--my dreams and God's plans are not necessarily opposed or exclusive of one another. Don't forget who made you, and don't forget that he loves to give us all good things.

What are your God-given dreams and how have they manifested in your life? I'd love to hear your story!