Buckle Up!

I wrote my last post on New Year's Eve. It helped settle my thoughts and refocus them on my Savior and Provider as I looked over the last disappointing year toward the possibility of more of the same. I published it, and promptly forgot about it as I went to sleep that night, relieved.

Once published, I quickly decided after two very disappointing attempts to find work in November and December that my time of searching for gainful, grown-up employment in the greater Atlanta area was done. The dead end job of a front office coordinator at a physical therapy practice I had applied for that went to a recent graduate with a Master's degree in Public Health was the final nail in the coffin of local job searches.

Photography business had tanked in recent years, and save for 2014's last gasp, we came to the crushing realization that it would not sustain us. We had to have another source of income.

The handwriting is on the wall. Something has to change. We can't keep doing the same thing and expect a different outcome. 

My gut was, shall we say, speaking quite loudly. So I did something different. I submitted an application and resume to a company in North Carolina.

I'll be honest, it felt scary and wonderfully adventurous all at once; feelings that used to be familiar but had long been dormant. And it made me grin.

I don't think either Leland or I expected anything to come of it, but I was holding onto a thread of hope because THIS company was exactly the type of business I wanted to be a part of. A company that wants to change the corporate culture in America? A company that values its employees and has a foundation for the express purpose of giving assistance to their own who find themselves in need? A company that gives to the community? That provides a physical space for charities that give to the community, allowing them to do their work more efficiently? A faith-based company that has experienced phenomenal, exponential growth since its beginning in 2007? What is this magical place, and can I sign up?

Movement Mortgage. A place I can work, feel a part of, contribute to, grow and develop in, and receive not just a paycheck, but a sense of purpose and meaning.

So, shocker, I got an email, then a phone screening, then a request for a face-to-face interview with Talent Acquisition for the next 6-week Mortgage Loan Processing training class, Movement University. Would I be interested?

Let me think about it. Right, just kidding. Leland and I jumped in the car, drove to Charlotte, spent a few lovely hours with family, got up the next morning and had my interview. We grabbed lunch with youngest daughter, Laurie, who also works for Movement (providentially), and were on the road back to Roswell.

I felt like I had been nominated for an Academy Award. Someone actually thought enough of what was on a piece of paper to give me a shot. I was beyond grateful, especially after so. much. rejection.

I spent the next 4 days replaying the interview in my head. (Please, my lovelies, do not ever do that.) After that exercise in futility, on February 23rd at 4:00, I got a call with an offer of employment.

I accepted. 

I'm holding the golden statue. The one that says I'm a child of the God of the amazing plan, inscribed with Trust me, I am for you.

Julie & Mike, the party people.

Fast forward a few days, and after my neighbor, Julie, called to ask about job news, she had organized a few of the closest neighbors for a quick happy hour/goodbye celebration in The Oak Room. At 4:00 yesterday, 3 of my neighbors showed up with snacks and drinks for what was supposed to be an hour--that turned into more like two and a half. Everyone gathered around to give us hugs and wish us the best. These people will be missed. 

l-r: Ivana, Igor, Mia, Julie, Mike, me, and Danka

Leland and I will pack up the car with all my necessities and head to Charlotte, this Friday. I will head straight for the office to meet with HR for new hire paperwork, then on to Laurie and Ross's house where I will be their grateful guest until Leland sells the house and joins me. 

Leland and I would very much appreciate prayers for the swift sale of our house. We hate being apart, but we know there is a plan and God's timing is perfect. 

Leland will keep his choice clients in Georgia, traveling as he needs to, while developing a new clientele in the greater Charlotte area. Please join us in praying for new business growth, as well as the best place for us to land in terms of new housing (it looks like the Fort Mill, SC area right now).

The pages of the Holder's Book of 2016 will not be blank from here on out. It won't be easy, but what is? Our only certainty is the steadfastness of God, because He is love and He never changes. 

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. --James 1:17

Bye, Mia!

Surprises Are Not Always Good

For the first time in a very long time, I find myself sitting in front of this blog and actually find it's time to write again.

Surprise!

In the recent past I have thought about writing--*should I? I shouldn't* thoughts going back and forth like ping pong balls bouncing off the walls of my skull. I would decide I should, come sit at the laptop, look at the blinking cursor, shut it, and walk away.

Nope, not time. 

So, why now, you (and I) ask? Especially after all the silent months, save for the happy wedding shoot blog I posted over a year ago. Because life is a shocker sometimes, and the only way to deal is to skip talking and go straight to writing. The latter has always been easier for me anyway. And it's the only form of therapy I can afford.

A lot has been bouncing around in my mind lately. It started a long time ago, with the end of my job at the pharmaceutical company I worked for for a year and a half. To a degree, I let the company owner run over me, out of fear. So when that ended and I moved into a consultant role, I thought everything was awesome. When the consulting evaporated, well, all you have to do is go through the blog archives to see how that turned out. 

I asked God over and over, What do you want me to do? Anything. Just tell me.

Silence. But years of job searching and coming up empty-handed seemed to have ended this year. I had a 3-hour interview with a small business about 20 miles away from home, and after waiting weeks for them to come to a decision on filling the position of Office Manager, an offer from a friend of ours dropped into my inbox. Part-time, perfect hours, independent contractor agreement, flexible, the potential for development, someone I knew. 

PERFECT. 

I know nothing is perfect, but I had very high hopes. Silly me. The person I thought I knew was actually 2 different people: the social, kind-hearted friend and the angst-ridden, bully, disrespectful work person.

People have baggage. They stuff their bags full of hurts, wrongs done, and unmet expectations. Some people carry their heavy load around with them through life, wearing their victimhood like a badge, allowing it to become their identity. 

The brain seeks what is familiar before it seeks what is good for the person, I read once.

Maybe this is one reason why the Bible instructs us to renew our mind (Romans 12:2)--so that we may not conform to the pattern of this world and know what the will of God is. The world excuses anger, bitterness--even murder--on the basis of past wrong done to a person. Jesus transforms the heart and that healing results in fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). [Preaching Gospel to myself!]

So, everyone has a choice to make. 

My father's life story is the perfect example of someone who was badly hurt, yet chose a better path than to be angry, bitter, and hurtful. His parents divorced when he was about 10 years old, which would make the time period 1935. He told me that his parents took the advice of a psychiatrist who had evaluated the family and told his parents it would be best to split the family so that his sister went with his mother and he went with his father, since all they did was fight. His sister went to live with their mother; however, his father wasn't on board with single parenting his son, so he abandoned my father, who then became a ward of the state of New Jersey. Placed in foster care at age 10, my father suffered through, and survived, pneumonia. Understand that this was miraculous, since there were no antibiotics to treat infections at that time. Eventually, his aunt and uncle took custody of him and he lived with them, and his 2 cousins, in deservedly grand style.

I asked my father, "How did you survive all this? What happened to you was horrible!" 

His answer: "I had a choice to either sink or swim. I chose to swim."

My father was not a man of faith until his 40s, but I remember him in the years prior to that as a kind, thoughtful man who believed everyone should strive to be good; a good person, and a good citizen. He served America as a young man in the U.S. Navy during WWII, as a Lieutenant. I never heard him ever speak an evil word about a neighbor or a co-worker, or show anyone any disrespect. And he raised me to always be respectful of elders and never question authority.

Sorry, Dad, I believe in respect but not the never-questioning-authority thing.

So, after all of my life experiences, I took my lessons from my father and added them to the basket full of other lessons from the tough things I have been through. A big lesson I learned after a potentially life-threatening situation and a failed marriage is that NO ONE should ever be allowed to exert the power to make another person feel threatened, fearful, less than, or disrespected. This week, someone tried it. I stood up for myself. It was met with a very ugly demand to vacate the premises. I have peacefully and rightfully ended the contract work agreement.

Remember this lesson, friends: Christian ≠ doormat, scapegoat, or whipping boy.

So now I have come to the same conclusion as my good friend, Lea, which is, I don't want to just make a paycheck. I want to do something meaningful. Something to change the world a little for the better. I will find that elusive thing, one day. And I will be sure to share what that is. 

Meanwhile, Leland and I are once again looking at a diminishing bank balance and happily preparing for Christmas festivities with the kids and grandkids. And there is a certain peace that passes understanding; the kind only Jesus gives.

For now, I have laid down my sword, but it is never far away. There will always be dragons to slay in this world.

P.S. Don't click away until you read these final thoughts. As followers of Jesus Christ, we are commanded to love our enemies and pray for them. “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:43-45
I ended my work agreement with a fellow believer, and in the process of that email exchange, I blessed her and I have prayed for her. This is very counter-intuitive when someone hurts your heart and doesn't care, but it is not optional and it is not easy. We forgive because we have been forgiven by our Father in heaven.