Buckle Up!

I wrote my last post on New Year's Eve. It helped settle my thoughts and refocus them on my Savior and Provider as I looked over the last disappointing year toward the possibility of more of the same. I published it, and promptly forgot about it as I went to sleep that night, relieved.

Once published, I quickly decided after two very disappointing attempts to find work in November and December that my time of searching for gainful, grown-up employment in the greater Atlanta area was done. The dead end job of a front office coordinator at a physical therapy practice I had applied for that went to a recent graduate with a Master's degree in Public Health was the final nail in the coffin of local job searches.

Photography business had tanked in recent years, and save for 2014's last gasp, we came to the crushing realization that it would not sustain us. We had to have another source of income.

The handwriting is on the wall. Something has to change. We can't keep doing the same thing and expect a different outcome. 

My gut was, shall we say, speaking quite loudly. So I did something different. I submitted an application and resume to a company in North Carolina.

I'll be honest, it felt scary and wonderfully adventurous all at once; feelings that used to be familiar but had long been dormant. And it made me grin.

I don't think either Leland or I expected anything to come of it, but I was holding onto a thread of hope because THIS company was exactly the type of business I wanted to be a part of. A company that wants to change the corporate culture in America? A company that values its employees and has a foundation for the express purpose of giving assistance to their own who find themselves in need? A company that gives to the community? That provides a physical space for charities that give to the community, allowing them to do their work more efficiently? A faith-based company that has experienced phenomenal, exponential growth since its beginning in 2007? What is this magical place, and can I sign up?

Movement Mortgage. A place I can work, feel a part of, contribute to, grow and develop in, and receive not just a paycheck, but a sense of purpose and meaning.

So, shocker, I got an email, then a phone screening, then a request for a face-to-face interview with Talent Acquisition for the next 6-week Mortgage Loan Processing training class, Movement University. Would I be interested?

Let me think about it. Right, just kidding. Leland and I jumped in the car, drove to Charlotte, spent a few lovely hours with family, got up the next morning and had my interview. We grabbed lunch with youngest daughter, Laurie, who also works for Movement (providentially), and were on the road back to Roswell.

I felt like I had been nominated for an Academy Award. Someone actually thought enough of what was on a piece of paper to give me a shot. I was beyond grateful, especially after so. much. rejection.

I spent the next 4 days replaying the interview in my head. (Please, my lovelies, do not ever do that.) After that exercise in futility, on February 23rd at 4:00, I got a call with an offer of employment.

I accepted. 

I'm holding the golden statue. The one that says I'm a child of the God of the amazing plan, inscribed with Trust me, I am for you.

Julie & Mike, the party people.

Fast forward a few days, and after my neighbor, Julie, called to ask about job news, she had organized a few of the closest neighbors for a quick happy hour/goodbye celebration in The Oak Room. At 4:00 yesterday, 3 of my neighbors showed up with snacks and drinks for what was supposed to be an hour--that turned into more like two and a half. Everyone gathered around to give us hugs and wish us the best. These people will be missed. 

l-r: Ivana, Igor, Mia, Julie, Mike, me, and Danka

Leland and I will pack up the car with all my necessities and head to Charlotte, this Friday. I will head straight for the office to meet with HR for new hire paperwork, then on to Laurie and Ross's house where I will be their grateful guest until Leland sells the house and joins me. 

Leland and I would very much appreciate prayers for the swift sale of our house. We hate being apart, but we know there is a plan and God's timing is perfect. 

Leland will keep his choice clients in Georgia, traveling as he needs to, while developing a new clientele in the greater Charlotte area. Please join us in praying for new business growth, as well as the best place for us to land in terms of new housing (it looks like the Fort Mill, SC area right now).

The pages of the Holder's Book of 2016 will not be blank from here on out. It won't be easy, but what is? Our only certainty is the steadfastness of God, because He is love and He never changes. 

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. --James 1:17

Bye, Mia!

Surprise #2: Grief

Sunday, was the 4th day since being rudely dismissed from the office where I was working under a contract agreement. I thought I had been doing fine since then, albeit disappointed it didn't work out. At least I felt safe and able to detox from the hostile environment I was in for 5 weeks.

And then......

Getting ready for bed that night, I found myself suddenly feeling alternately very sad, confused, and wanting answers I couldn't have.

Sad.

• For 2 weeks I was so excited and happy to have work again. I was contributing and I could see Leland's stress ease and attitude improve. I can't believe we're back where we started.
• We had lost a friend. Never easy. Rather a heartbreak. 
• Every day we watch our checking account balance get lower. My faith is again tested.

I laid in bed, wide-eyed, unable to sleep. I sat up and told Leland, with tears welling,

I'm so sad.

Confused.
Exhausted.
Over. It.

Why has our situation not found a remedy? After a relatively good business year in 2014, must we repeat the previous 3 years?

How long Lord?, King David said all those millennia ago. His words echo through the ages, right into my heart.

Then, I began the slide down the slippery slope of comparison. I started to think of all the people I know who have been mean, hurtful, manipulative, lied--someone I called friend, someone I called husband, a brother, a sister, an employer--and in every case, these people continue to not just survive, they thrive and live well. I don't get it.

Answers, please.

I wanted to know how and why life works this way. I watch Leland work so hard and give away so much of his time and talent, from a true heart of generosity and love for people. I've prayed for God to bring him a 10-fold reward for all he does. Still waiting, while the scales tip in favor of those who don't ever seem to suffer for the pain they've caused.

Once again I am drawn back to the story of Job; the last few chapters.

Will the one who contends with the Almighty correct him? (40:2)
Would you discredit my justice? Would you condemn me to justify yourself? (40:8) 

If I know what's good for me, I'll repeat Job's answer to God, in chapter 42.

I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted. You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’ Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. 

And then what did Job do? He "repented in dust and ashes," then he prayed for his friends (who had been anything but a help, by the way).

After Job had prayed for his friends, the LORD made him prosperous again and gave him twice as much as he had before. (42:10)

So I go back to David's psalm, the 13th. And I read it all the way through.

How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
    How long will you hide your face from me? 

 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
    and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
    How long will my enemy triumph over me?

 Look on me and answer, Lord my God.
    Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
          and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
    and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

 But I trust in your unfailing love;
    my heart rejoices in your salvation. 

 I will sing the Lord’s praise,
    for he has been good to me.