Photo Credit: © 2006 Lynne Holder

Sunday, May 22, 2011

When All Feels Lost

The past many months have been exhausting for me. Being one who has walked through many challenges, energizing wins, devastating losses, and learned many crucial spiritual lessons, I thought I had this "life is constant change" thing down and found peace in trusting God with the events of my life and the inevitability of change.

Recently, not so much.

Life has been a mixture of feelings: immense gratitude for the wonderful husband and family, among other things, I am blessed with, and the desperation of having my faith challenged to the point my soul feels like it is bleeding. 

I could hear the enemy, that rotten little naysayer, badgering me even in my sleep; telling me what a crazy fool I was. I quit dreaming because it was too painful to realize that most of my dreams seemed to have flat lined with no hope of resuscitation. Placing them in the hands of The Dream Giver and choosing to trust Him with the timing of the manifestation of these dreams calmed the undercurrent of uneasiness for only brief periods of time.

 And then--having lost all hope, confidence, and resigning to failure--I read a guest blog post by Geoff Talbot. Inspired, I visited Geoff's blog, where I found this video of his story.

I listened, I cried, and I was excited. The student was ready for the teacher. Just when I had reached the end of myself, God heard my pleas for help. I am seeing and hearing those subtle ways God uses to encourage us, through other people. 

Thank you for your words, Geoff. May they reach far and wide.

I'm not giving up. I dusted off this blog. I volunteered to assist an equine assisted therapy center. I scheduled a shoot for new comp card photos for this Thursday. I have contacted modeling agencies in the UK and Germany. I'm surrounding myself with creative types in my position as a video camera operator on the production team at my church (meeting lots of really cool musicians and pros in production) and working with my husband as his assistant. I am focusing on the positive again.

May I challenge you to offer words of encouragement at every opportunity? You may never know their impact, but they could have a profound one.

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